Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Eating Disorder

Have you ever considered that your eating disorder might be there for a reason?

What? This terrorizing, unforgiving, shame causing, incessant grip on my soul thing, could have a purpose? As in, it’s here for a reason? I’m not sure I buy this- but if I were, it might be kind of nice to think I didn’t just do this to myself.

Yes! Exactly, that’s why thinking about your eating disorder as having a function can help you address the reasons behind what you do, rather than get stuck in that shame, guilt spiral.

 Allow me to plead my case:

The Function of an Eating Disorder

If we know anything about eating disorders, it’s that they don’t come to be by accident. They don’t just form in a vacuum- it’s much more complicated than that. A person doesn’t have a perfect life, perfect family, perfect support system and great self-image and then develop an eating disorder. Eating disorders are more of a coping strategy if you really think about it.

 I’d wager you $1,000 (and I’m good for it) that if you lined up 10 people who struggle with an eating disorder, all 10 of them have reasons that made food restriction, body obsession and compulsive over-exercising a very helpful solution. That’s why you can’t just hate your eating disorder- it has actually protected and helped you. It, at one point, was a very viable lifeline and if you are to heal from it, you must first understand it.

Think about it, if you are horribly depressed and cannot find a reason to exist moment to moment, an eating disorder is a wonderful distraction that can help you feel like you have some control over your life. (I’m being coy and do not mean to undermine the pain of an eating disorder- they just don’t start off that way) You might not be able to force yourself into happiness or forgive the asshole that abused you- but you sure as hell can channel all that anger and pain into your meal planning, exercise regime and daily thoughts about weight.

Focusing on, what might start off as weight loss and healthy living, is a much easier pill to swallow than that pain right underneath the surface. The only problem with this approach is that no amount of weight you lose will ever provide the deeper healing you need, so those weight loss efforts can quickly spiral into anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating, or any form of disordered eating.

In this example, it’s not the eating disorder you should hate or target, it’s what’s underneath. Maybe that anger and energy is misdirected at yourself and should be placed on that asshole? Maybe the bigger question isn’t why can’t you just be normal with food, but why are you so depressed and what do you need to help with your mood?

The further you get into the grips of your eating disorder, the further you get away from the reasons that caused it. I believe the best way to address your eating disorder is to address the reasons behind it first.

Are you ready to be curious about your eating disorder? Fill out my contact form and we can schedule a free 20 minute consultation.