How to Handle Getting Triggered
Anyone in recovery from an eating disorder knows that recovery doesn’t mean your eating disorder is gone and the coast is clear. It’s always just lurking in the background. Or running away after ringing your doorbell. Part of recovery is learning to hold these thoughts down.
There will be moments when it’s easier to ignore or shut the door on your eating disorder voice. And there will be times when it isn’t. You can be strong in your recovery, minding your own business, when out of nowhere, comes a trigger and down you fall...
This happened recently to me, and I didn’t wake up until finding myself about to buy a 6-day cleanse for $500 because, you know, health. When I came to, I knew I had to regroup and reground. The next few days and weeks I had to get back to basics.
Here’s a list of what helped me. Please read and let me know what you think. I’d love to hear what other people find helpful when rattled by a trigger.
Top Ten Things To Do When Triggered
Spend some time being quiet with yourself and offer yourself compassion.
Take a trip into your body to identify the various sensations and emotions arising.
Be kind to these emotions and listen to their messages. All are welcome.
Engage in things that give you comfort (ie snuggling with a warm blanket; watching a favorite tv show or movie; lighting a candle; eating something warm; reading)
Talk to a support that knows about eating disorders. (If I talk to a great support who isn’t knowledgeable about eating disorders when I’m this vulnerable, I might be tempted to minimize or invalidate myself.)
Meditate to name the eating disorder voice so you aren’t swayed by her messages.
Focus on eating 3 meals and 3 snacks.
Try to understand why you got triggered and what was going on within you to create such a big response.
Gently remind yourself that judging yourself is not helpful.
Remember you have worth no matter what your body looks like.
Why Do We Get Triggered?
I’m sure you’ve had the experience that something can be said to you one day and you can ignore it quickly, but then you can hear the same exact thing on a different day, and it’ll trigger your eating disorder in the worst way. Why is this?
1.) You’re Mentally Depleted:
We only have so much emotional bandwidth each day and once we lose it, it’s gone. If it’s the end of a long day, it’s Friday, you’re fighting with your spouse, and you have dinner plans with your mom- you will have less emotional bandwidth to ignore and let your mom’s comments about your weight go. Compare this to a Monday morning around 10am when you’re kicking butt at work and your coworker makes a comment about your “healthy appetite.” This might be an easier situation to roll your eye at and move on.
2.) You’re Feeling Extra Sensitive About Your Body Already:
We all have those days when our body image just sucks. There isn’t a particular reason why- it just is. You might already be walking through the day with some ED voices criticizing your every move. If, when you home that night and slip into your sweatpants, and you find out they are a bit tight, you might have a stronger reaction to this and find yourself triggered.
3.) You’re More Hormonal:
Sometimes when we are various stages within our cycle, we can have surges of hormones that might make us more bloated or more sensitive. If we are feeling like this and something triggers our eating disorder, it’ll be easier to disregard.
4.) It’s normal to be triggered.
When we are triggered, it means that we have still have old beliefs, old hurts, and internalized fatphobia that we must work through. This will probably be a lifelong process. It doesn’t mean anything about your strength of recovery, it just means you’ve had an eating disorder.
I hope these strategies are helpful to you when you next get triggered. As difficult as it is to handle these feelings, it does provide us with an opportunity to practice being kind and supporting ourselves in new, healthier way, ways in which our eating disorder never could.
