How Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating Disconnects You From Your Body

And why this matters

Eating disorders and disordered eating can do a lot of damage to your body. It can cause your hair and nails to become brittle, dry your skin out, slow your heart rate, erode your muscles, screw up your electrolytes and lots of other scary things.

Most people have some awareness of these dangers, but something that is not discussed as often, is how eating disorders and disordered eating can disconnect you from your body.

Disconnecting From Your Body

Ok, here you are, ready to ditch your food rules and find some food freedom. You have decided to start by making sure to eat three balanced meals. One of your rules was to not eat until 11am- because you know, intermittent fasting (aka a sneaky way to say you’re cutting calories for health benefits).

You wake up the next day at 7am with the plan to eat a balanced breakfast and you’re just not hungry. What do you do? Intuitive eating is all about listening to your body and eating when you’re hungry right? Well, you’re not hungry so I guess that means- don’t eat?

 So, you wait, and now it’s 11am and you’re hungry- strange- maybe your body is meant to do intermittent fasting? Your body wasn’t hungry until 11am anyway- but you do remember that the first week of intermittent fasting you were ferociously hungry and had to try your hardest not to eat until 11am- what gives?

 I’ll tell you what gives- your body likes a schedule, and it can be taught how to respond. Ever notice when you’re on vacation and your schedule is all wonky that your bowels get all out of whack? Or if you travel to a different time zone your sleep is all off because you’re going to bed at 11pm still but your body still thinks it’s 9pm? This is your body responding to its normal schedule even when your schedule has changed.

So, if you want to eat three balanced meals you need to retrain your body to be hungry at 7am by eating at 7am. After you do this for a few days/weeks your body will begin to be hungry at 7am.

 So what’s happening?

 When you decided to do intermittent fasting you had to ignore your body’s hunger cues. You were physically hungry that first week but followed your mind’s plan to not eat. This had the effect of disconnecting from your body’s signals.  

Another example of this can be found with exercise. Maybe you decide you want (need?) to run a certain number of days a week. This is a decision that is made by your mind and your mind’s decision on how often you should exercise.

Monday morning you’re ready for your run. During the first 5 minutes you just aren’t feeling it. Your body is tired, and every step feels like it takes a herculean effort. You try to push through but then notice you pulled a muscle in your calf. What do you do?

 The “right” answer is probably not to keep going right? However, all of us that struggle with eating disorders and disordered eating know what really happens is we press on instead. We might even feel frustration or irritation at our body for not cooperating with our mind’s plan. Again, we’ve disconnected from our body’s signals by forcing ourselves to continue despite obvious body messages that we shouldn’t.

Ok, and why is this important?

It’s important because you’ve decided to ditch food rules, but you have lost your connection to your body, so you don’t actually know what or when to eat. Sure, you could just adopt a new food rule of, let’s say, eat at 7am; 12pm and 6pm- but that’s not really food freedom. That’s you just adopting a different (but arguably better) food rule from an external source.

The problem with this is that your body isn’t a machine. Some days you will need more food. Some days you’ll need different nutrients. Other days you’ll need to rest. The next day you might need an intense, sweaty workout. The following day you might need some gentle movement. The only way to know what your body needs any given day is to listen- and this requires connection.

Recovery from eating disorders and disordered eating is absolutely possible- but recovery is significantly easier and more sustainable when you redevelop your connection to your body. Just look at Leah and Suzie:

Leah’s Recovery:

Leah is a lifelong yo-yo dieter who is ready to ditch diet culture and reclaim her autonomy with her body, movement, and food. She’s been following food rules for so long that she rarely knows when she’s hungry or what she’s hungry for.

 She also has developed a lot of hatred and shame about her body- so she’s not really interested in learning to listen to her body. She feels like her body has betrayed her way too many times and she’s better off following a meal plan.

Leah finds a meal plan that consists of three meals and three snacks. The plan promises that it provides adequate nutrition for someone her age. She’s been following this meal plan for the past month and has noticed many improvements- she has more energy, she feels more satisfied, she hasn’t binged and she’s eating a variety of foods.

During month 2 she notices that sometimes she just doesn’t want the breakfast that is on her meal plan. It’s not a bad breakfast- typically she likes it and it’s satisfying- she’s just not in the mood. She eats the breakfast anyway and feels the same way about lunch. Her coworker asks her to grab lunch and Leah says yes. She ends up ordering something that isn’t even remotely similar to her meal plan lunch and feels disappointed in herself. She goes home that night feeling like she blew it and might as well not eat what’s on her meal plan for dinner.

Her sense of disappointment grows, and she ends up binging and spirals into shame and guilt. She wakes up the next day recommitted to following her meal plan. The reason she “failed” is because she didn’t follow her meal plan at lunch, right?

 Suzie’s Recovery:

Suzie is also looking to find food freedom. She’s been caught in the restrict/binge cycle for way too many years. She’s ready to break this pattern. She isn’t sure where to start because it’s hard for her to even know when she’s hungry or full. She reaches out to a dietician and therapist to try and figure out how to find the freedom she’s looking for.

 When she meets with her dietician and therapist, she learns that the restrict/binge cycle happens for very good reasons. When the body isn’t getting enough food, the body compensates by increasing hunger cues and desiring food that supplies quick energy. This is actually an evolutionary trait that keeps us alive. Knowing this, Suzie decides to eat more throughout the day, so her body gets enough food and her desire to binge at night lessens.

 She starts to consider the fact that maybe her body does know what she needs- if she just listens. She’s eating three meals a day, plus snacks for the past month. She has more energy, feels more satisfied, and binging has gone way down.

The next day her coworker asks her to grab lunch. Suzie had packed her lunch but really isn’t feeling her ham and cheese sandwich. A slice of pizza at the local pizzeria sounds much better, so she says yes to her coworker. After eating the pizza, she feels satisfied and full. She even has a sense of pride that she listened to what her body was craving- pizza- not ham and cheese.

Suzie goes home that night and shares the good news with her partner as they make dinner together.

Which story sounds more like food freedom to you? If you really want to recover from your food rules and know what food freedom feels like- it’s imperative you learn how to reconnect to your body.

Ready to see for yourself? Reach out for your free consultation. I have open slots and would love to help you feel what Suzie is feeling!